Why do men lie that. What men lie about

Our best advice is to sort it out to the end.

A slight distortion of information about himself for a man is a mere trifle. Consider for yourself how women like to dramatize a little, exaggerating the size of a real disaster, and men like to embellish the events of their lives, making achievements even more significant. In some ways, both of these phenomena are even interconnected: she reacts too violently to the world and cries, he begins to lie to avoid her tears. However, this does not negate the pain that a woman experiences when she catches her beloved in a lie. Why do men lie? Let's figure it out.

3 reasons for male lies: the psychology of the stronger sex

1. Make an impression

As a turkey fluffs up its tail to attract the attention of a female, a man wants to score as many points as possible in the eyes of a lady he likes. His logic is simple - in any way to lure her into his networks, fall in love, and then come what may. And in the beginning, this tactic often works. He enthusiastically lies about his age, status, education and even financial situation, if only the woman would be seduced. He does not understand only one thing - the secret becomes obvious, and the companion, most likely, will be distorted by the very fact of lies, rather than the real state of affairs.

2. Avoid the consequences

There is another story: a man dreams of going fishing, but he knows that his wife will be against it. Therefore, he finds nothing better than to lie, having gone fishing under the guise of "business negotiations." And the more a woman resists the wishes of her partner in the future, the less he will devote her to his plans. Under the guise of meetings, there will be drinking parties with friends, under the guise of cutting wages, a man will start saving money to repaint his car. Who is to blame? Rather, a woman who has established too tight control by cutting off her lover's breath. After all, tell him how it is, he is unlikely to receive anything but discontent and repression.

3. Save freedom

It also happens that a man lies on trifles, even when he does nothing reprehensible. For example, he says that he is leaving for work, and he himself goes to his parents. Or he swears that he drank one glass of milk for supper, while he ate a pot of soup. And how is this to be understood? Most likely, in this teenage way, he tries to rebel against the excessive control of a woman, fighting for every breath of freedom.

How to recognize his lies?

Lighter than easy. As soon as he jumps off the topic, tries to explain something in a very confusing way, begins to put passwords on equipment, generally behave atypically and secretly - catch it red-handed! If a man is really lying, his reaction will tell everything for itself. Or he will turn on the aggression mode, starting to react with hostility to ordinary questions. Or the opposite behavior will follow - excessive attention, which was not typical for him before. In this way, he will try to compensate for the deep feeling of guilt.

What if a man is cheating?

Our best advice is to sort it out to the end. Do not accumulate resentment in yourself in order to explode at the most inopportune moment and create a scandal by doing stupid things. But, having caught the setup, start a frank conversation.

It happens that a man lies to save himself. Not because a villain or a rogue, which the world has never seen. But because he wants to save his beloved woman from unnecessary worries, so that she does not get upset because of his mistakes, does not worry about the lack of some benefits. The goal of a man in this case is noble, albeit unjustified. Once caught in a lie of this kind, it is best to speak frankly with your partner in order to arrive at a general consensus.

It happens that a man's lie is nothing more than a consequence of a bad upbringing. Often the childhood of such liars was not sugar-free, they were often punished, limited in desires, and therefore they learned to get out, hiding the truth. If such a man subsequently chooses a mother-woman as a companion, who takes care of and bothers him in everything, he can return to the child's pattern of behavior, which only a family counselor will help get rid of.

If a man is subject to various kinds of addictions, lying in this case becomes a means of survival. Agree, it is much easier to lie to your partner than to confess your love for gambling or smoking marijuana? The first step in this case will be precisely the fight against addictions, rather than against lies. And of course, the man himself should want recovery first of all.

There is also a pathological need to cheat, the reasons for which are hidden deep in the depths of the subconscious and are associated with a variety of children's complexes. Such lies are treated exclusively by specialists in this field, and even then not always successfully.

Finally, the most common and painful reason for lying is a man's concealment of the fact of treason. In this case, it is worth a really titanic effort to restore the previous level of trust between partners, but it is still possible if both are ready and willing to change. The only option in which it is better to end the relationship is the repeated repetition of infidelity.

So, each situation of deception is deeply individual and requires clarification of all the reasons and circumstances. But it is quite possible to change a man's attitude to this problem, especially if both are inclined to a constructive dialogue.

August 16, 2015

There is hardly a person in the world who has not cheated. Think of yourself or your friends who, after being late for school, came up with a thousand reasons and excuses. Or your parents, to whom you told that you were out with your friends, but in fact it was a guy. Yes indeed everyone lied. But what about the fact that a loved one deceived you? It is to this question that we will give the answer.

In fact, it all depends on the situation. There are situations when a guy is hard to judge for a lie. Let's say he went to the store to choose a gift for you, and you call. As a result, in order for the surprise to remain a surprise, he has to lie. A pregnant wife often asks her husband if she is beautiful. And a loving husband, despite all the sizes that spoil the figure of his beloved, says that there is no change and she is beautiful as before. But all this is deception. However, for some reason we perceive it well. What's the secret? First, let's figure out what does the word "lie" mean?

A lie is a statement that does not correspond to the truth and is consciously expressed in this form.

That is, if a person deceives and does not realize his guilt, then it turns out that he is not lying.

Yes, I agree that men lie more than women. And it's not good to lie. But by his masculine nature, a guy can resort to it. For example, in Buddhism there are 3 holy lies that can be used according to their religion:

1. To preserve the family

2. To maintain friendship

3. To keep the peace

And in principle, it’s hard to disagree. We even have such a concept - a lie for the good. But all the same, it is better not to lie. Because this is fog and the more a person lies, the more he sinks into it. And over time, he himself no longer knows where the truth is and where not.

And so now, understanding what a lie is and that everything depends on the situation, let's move on to solving our problem. The reason that a man is lying is always the fear of being responsible for his act and being punished. Indeed, the guy is often afraid to take part in another scandal, so he decides to cheat. Most likely, some negative qualities that you do not like in him, he cannot overcome himself and tries to keep silent about them. This leads to a person's insincerity and closeness. Therefore, if you cannot put up with a lie, then you need to fight it.

Consider the instruction for wise girls on what to do if a guy cheated:

1. Analyze what the lie is and how it can be caused. If, for example, a guy smokes, and told you that he does not smoke. Then most likely he cannot overcome addiction and tries not to upset you. Also, for example, you are waiting for a guy at home, and he said that he was late from work. But in fact, he was dating a friend. That lie is caused by the fact that the guy is afraid to admit it to you, since you will scold him. And here the reason is the excessive freedom of action on his part or on your part of depriving him of time to communicate with a friend.

2. Make decisions for yourself. You must understand what outcome would be acceptable for you. But do not forget that in a relationship, the main skill is to find compromises. That is, the solution should suit two. For example, he made time for a friend, but you don't. Then you should invite your loved one to meet all three and spend an interesting time together. Or reconsider your relationship and give your chosen one more free time. Thus, you will also get free time that you can spend on your hobbies.

3. Straight Talk. Since you have made decisions for yourself, you can start the conversation itself. In this conversation, confidently and decisively tell your loved one that you have recorded a lie on his part. Explain exactly what the lie itself is. Try to confirm your words in the process of conversation with facts so that the guy does not have the opportunity to manipulate and evade the answer. And so calmly and confidently you proved the existence of a lie on his part.

4. Lying spoils the relationship. Now explain to your chosen one that lying does not lead to anything good. After a little deception, more deception appears. And over time, you will stop understanding each other and be sincere altogether. And since you together do not want to allow this, then invite him to first apologize for his act, if he still has not done it. And then let him offer his solution to the problem.

5. Compromise and worthy solution. Most likely, the guy will start promising that this will not happen again. Then offer him your solution that will satisfy both. By doing so, in his eyes, you will raise your self-esteem, and in the future he is unlikely to want to lie. After all, it is better to decide everything amicably with you. In rare cases, he will offer a solution that does not satisfy you. Then you need to remind him of his lies and say that he has no right to demand so much. Then offer your compromise.

This instruction will help you to raise your authority in the eyes of a man. You are also beautiful and confident and will do your best to prevent it from happening in the future. The main thing is to try never to make a row about this. Since welding will not lead to a solution to your problem, but rather, on the contrary, will distance you from each other.

Why do men lie to women? Why, in principle, do people lie to each other? And is it really so terrible? How does the “male lie” differ from the “girlish little deceit” that many women's trainings are so diligently teaching? What is it that men get so tempting for a sophisticated lie?

First of all, we still need to understand how male lies differ from female ones. The man is lying as close as possible to the truth (what he personally believes to be true), and never piles up unnecessary details. That is: he invented himself, believed in himself, and then we carry the thought out to the masses as the ultimate truth. All doubters - in the face. Not appreciating and giggling - it doesn't even cost anything to prove, let alone make excuses. A woman, on her own tiny lie, will pile up a bunch of unnecessary details, get confused, doubt, get lost, fuss in them, and, in the end, will attract a lot of attention to her lie. He gets caught, of course, confesses, will repent and will further complicate his life. By this time, the man is already sure of his own righteousness, and that "everything is exactly the way it is."

Why does a man lie to a woman, what does it give?

• These same women. We are all familiar with the very convenient idea of \u200b\u200bpolygamy, the need to leave as many offspring as possible, etc. Perhaps nature meant a fair fight between a male and a male so that the strongest survived? And gave the appropriate offspring? What for? People came up with the glorious word "I love" (we will not specify who came up with it, but, mind you, it is customary for a man to explain ...). The women filled these five letters with high content: care, loyalty, etc., believed and agreed to everything. And that's it, the fight of the males is over, and no one has canceled polygamy yet. Can you imagine how Don Quixote looked and thought? One fight with the mill will make any psychiatrist think. Can you imagine how healthy the offspring he gave? Exactly. But how he persuaded!
• The feeling of a being of a higher order. It's nice, damn it, to understand that you are the smartest, most successful, almost fulfilled, achieved a lot, achieved everything. And further down the list. These are not the times and some difficulties. And what were the achievements! It's a pity that you, dear, were not there then. You would have seen everything (an additional bonus that the "dear" cannot check anything, she believes in her word, supports, sympathizes, erases, cleans up, pours, and further, according to the list).
• Household amenities. Let's proceed from the fact that a woman can give the man of her dreams. Since childhood. A good grandmother can be deceived and cajoled and rushed with the boys on a fishing trip: she herself will compose something for an angry father. In general, you sometimes think about mothers with a shudder: they believe everything, without exception, doubt, and the slightest signs of criticality. It is simply impossible not to lie to them! It is inappropriate to tell the truth: if the mother gets a heart attack from the terrible news that her twenty-five-year-old son has been seduced (of course!) By a graduate neighbor, there will be no one to cook dinner. Wives and lovers are a separate category that deserves a special discussion.
• A faithful wife. As we already said, women are not capable of lying competently. They have been trying, of course, for many centuries. But stupid and not particularly talented, while earning a reputation for being deceitful and hopelessly spoiled. Yes, read the sayings of the Church Fathers! These are definitely not lying, neither women nor men, they say what they think. So, our girl, incapable of anything more than tortured good manners and makeup (by the way, also a little lie!) Gets into the tenacious paws of a guy who says everything from point # 2. His mother with heart drops believes that our girl is the heroine of point # 3, and his grandmother is twisting his angry father (the only one who distinguishes the truth!) At this time. And at this moment the guy pronounces the version of the text from point # 1 (actually, he just wanted sex, but since it is so accepted ...)! The moment turns out to be historical, she does receive the status of a wife with all the ensuing consequences, but is that? He continues to lie, he is solid, he is a family man. And the theory of polygamy has not yet been canceled!

Of course, these are not all the reasons why men lie to women... As the great Disraeli said: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, heinous lies and statistics." Statistics, by the way, show that the favorite types of male lies are:

• to hide sympathy for another woman - 51%;
• underestimate the amount of "taken on the chest";
• 26%; - hide treason;
• 21% (sympathy, apparently, is a more terrible sin!);
• every sixth loves to exaggerate the cost of a purchase, and he, apparently, prefers to leave his chosen one in suspense and, informing her about his difficult and important matters before going to have fun.

And you still don't understand why a man is lying to a woman ?!

Faced with lies is always unpleasant. But it's one thing when a random person tells a lie, and it's another thing to constantly listen to lies from your own husband.

What to do in a situation when a spouse? What solution in these circumstances would help solve the problem? Is there a single correct answer to such difficult questions?

Aphids eat grass, rust eats iron, and lies eat soul.

A.P. Chekhov

Who is to blame for the lie and what can be done

Absolutely every person is individual and everyone has their own attitude to untruth. Some, like Voltaire, believe that if with the help of a lie you can calm or please a person, then it is a blessing. Others, like Kant, are deeply convinced that under no circumstances it is impossible to lie.

But this is all in theory. In practice, when faced with the deception of her husband, every woman feels betrayed and unhappy. She immediately has two questions: "why is he doing this to me?" and "what to do next?" As corny as it sounds, the first thing to do is to calm down. In such difficult situations, a "cold" mind will be a much better advisor than "hot" emotions.

First you need to find out how often the spouse lies and for what reason (read the same about girls). The tendency to tell lies is formed in childhood. If a child was brought up by strict parents and for every deviation from the rules he was scolded or punished, then he gets used to hide everything. Adults also actively use this model. If you notice that your husband is constantly lying, analyze the situation in detail.

There are two possible options:

1. Deceit is a trait of his personality. He lies constantly to everyone: at work - to the boss, in the company - to friends, and at home - to his wife. With all the desire to correct a pathological liar without the help of a qualified specialist, it is unlikely that it will be possible. Here you need to consult a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

   To cope with this problem can only be established by establishing the true reason for the tendency to deceive everyone. To become sincere and truthful, a person will have to show great willpower.



2. He only lies to his wife - this means that the reason lies precisely in the relationship of the couple.

Trust is a solid foundation for building strong and honest relationships. And it is only possible where there is no control.

Psychologists say that it is women who, with their excessive control, often push men to lie. In such a situation, attempts to change the situation and make communication trustworthy need to start with yourself.

Different reasons for male lies: what lies behind them

If the husband constantly has to lie only to his wife, then again the reason for this behavior should be established. By understanding the cause, you will be able to take actions that will be effective to solve the problem.

Possible reasons for male lies:

• The desire not to offend your spouse - if a wife asks questions, the truthful answer to which may upset or offend her, most men will lie about whether the dress really suits her.

  To avoid such unpleasant situations, a woman needs to make it clear that she normally perceives constructive criticism and that it is better to treat truthful, not very flattering reviews than “sweet” lies.

• The desire to look more successful in the eyes of the spouse. If the husband “artificially overestimates” his achievements, then the wife should think about whether she evaluates him too critically.

  In order for a person not to have a desire to invent achievements for himself, one must believe in him and support him. Criticism should be measured and very objective. The main thing is not to compare your husband with other men not in his favor, because this is perceived very painfully and in the future it can provoke a lie of this nature.

• The desire to avoid negative consequences, quarrels, scandals. If a wife limits her husband's personal space too much and every deviation from her acceptable behavior ends in a scandal or lectures, over time even an honest person will begin to deceive.

  If a spouse is against meeting her husband with friends, after sitting with them for several hours in a bar, he will say that he is late at work. This is a situation about which popular wisdom says "misfortune forces even an honest person to lie."

  In order to prevent such cases, it is enough to trust your loved one and give him enough free time and space. In gratitude for this, most men stop lying, getting out and telling the truth.

Women need to remember that they are not strict "mothers" who control every step, so they have to be deceived. They are loving and understanding partners with whom you can consult in any situation. Then the relationship will become truly trusting.

Treason is the worst lie

The situations listed above are upsetting and upsetting, but most women can put up with them. But when a precedent arises that the husband has cheated and lies, then this is already very serious and is a true betrayal.

If we are talking about the only betrayal and the husband considers it a big mistake, then some women manage to forgive and save the relationship.

And if the spouse is constantly cheating, then there is little hope of maintaining a happy marriage. Only the huge work on the relationship, which both spouses will do, will help to save him. A visit to a family counselor is a good option.

What to do in the end?

The answer to the question "if my husband is lying to me, then what should I do?" everyone finds for themselves. If the relationship is valuable to you, then you need to take all possible measures to make it trustworthy.

Trust your spouse, accept him with all his faults, and he will become more honest. But if there is no corresponding positive reaction from the person, then is it worth spending your own efforts on improving the situation in the marriage? Everyone has to make their own choice.

People in communication use lies as a way to manipulate or hide actions that are unpleasant for a partner. It is believed that men are more prone to pathological hiding the truth. Insincerity is the result of mistrust in your partner and a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If a man often lies, you should figure out what motives he pursues in hiding the truth. Having dealt with the reasons for lying, you can avoid breaking off relations and their further deterioration.

Male lies in the family are common. To try to eradicate the lack of a partner, it is important to build trust with him and correct his behavior. Not in all cases the man is lying, because he is dishonest with the girl. Many women provoke deception by their lack of communication. Common reasons include:

1. Emotional outbursts. At the beginning of the relationship, there is a candy-flower period. It is characterized by increased attention to the partner. Under the influence of the reproductive instinct in men, dopamine, the hormone of joy, is intensively released. Because of the emotional influx, the partner exaggerates the beauty or positive qualities of the girl. It is important to be able to recognize the truth spoken with a cold mind and compliments spoken on emotions. The opposite picture is that a man insults a woman out of spite during a quarrel. After the emotions subside, the partner often has remorse.
2. Subconscious fears or inner complexes. All people experience experiences and mental anguish if difficult life situations arise, regardless of gender and character. In society, men are not accepted to show weakness. If the partner is not ready to fully reveal himself to the woman as a person, then he will lie that he has no problems, not sharing his inner excitement. Often, girls require increased attention and it is not always possible to discuss the issue of relationships in calm tones. As a result, you shouldn't be surprised if the guy went for a walk alone, and instead lied to the girl that he was at work.
3. Lies to avoid conflict. Example - a girl has a suspicious and unstable character when it comes to appearance. Telling such a girl that she has gained a little weight will be resentful or hysterical. As a result, when asked how the dress sits on me, the man will truthfully lie, which is great.
4. Stereotypical behavior imposed in childhood. From an early age, boys are taught to endure and not cry, hiding their feelings. In adulthood, this develops into closeness. The manifestation of sentimentality is a sign of psychological weakness, so men lie to girls.
5. Tired of women's reproaches. For example, at work they do not give out bonuses or do not raise them due to the low efficiency of the employee. In order not to listen to reproaches at home, it is easier to say that he has a bad leader or an unscrupulous company than to admit his incompetence. In this case, lying saves you from home stress.

Types of male lies

There are 2 types of male intentional lies - negative and good. In the first case, when a lie is revealed, a woman's mental anguish appears. Such a lie does not carry anything good, so you should take a closer look at the relationship and finally decide whether they are needed or not.

Lies with negative consequences are divided into several types:

1. Concealment of actions that are unpleasant for a woman. A man lies to avoid punishment or reprimand. This prevents conflicts.
2. An unpleasant option is lying to drag the girl into bed. Until the woman responds, the man passionately achieves what he wants. As soon as intimacy occurs, it immediately disappears. It is important to be able to recognize such lies so that unpleasant incidents do not arise.
3. A disgusting option is to lie to a woman in order to steal. Such a man can give a girl alcohol and sleeping pills during a romantic date. When a woman is unconscious, he steals her wallet. To prevent such situations, you should look closely with your partner for a long time. Find out where he lives, works. You can not let unfamiliar people into your home.
4. Pathological lies are negative lies that cannot be corrected in any way. Such a man is lying all the time and cannot deny himself this "pleasure". Moreover, lies are unreasonable, often not carrying a semantic load.

A positive lie for the good does not carry negative consequences for the girl. These include exaggerations, compliments, jokes. You should not be offended by such things if a man does not want to say something bad.

What does lying give a man?

Any male lie has a motive. If a man wants to get carnal pleasures or steal money, then he will lie in order to get these benefits in a dirty way. If the relationship is unhealthy, and the partner is prone to conflicts, then lying will help to avoid a negative situation in the relationship, since a quarrel will not come (for a while). A good lie helps to win over or raise your own self-esteem.

Depending on the situation, lying can give different results:

1. If there is a desire to raise his self-esteem in the eyes of a girl or create a more meaningful impression of himself, then a man is lying about his earnings, savings and other achievements in different areas of life. This is a common way to win over your partner if they don't know each other well.
2. If a man is ashamed of a situation or acquaintance, he begins to lie, denying the current uncomfortable situation in the past. Often a man refers to a bad memory. Such lies prevent a man from being embarrassed.
3. Lies about the place of stay. This option makes it possible to avoid punishment and quarrels from a suspicious or jealous wife. If a man always says that he is at work, and a woman trusts him, then he gets almost complete freedom of action and the opportunity to lead a "double life."
4. Lies about love. Such a lie is characteristic of kind and indecisive persons who do not want to offend their partner. It often happens that a guy has long cooled down to a girl, but says that he loves her and is afraid to quit because she will worry.

Various situations arise that help to put a man in a better position at the expense of lying. There are often cases when the constant lies of a man causes remorse. He ruins his nerves, but is afraid to tell the truth, which creates a vicious circle.

Many adults learn over time that lying does not lead to anything good. Lying often leads to a breakdown in relationships. To prevent such situations from arising, it is important to initially create a trusting relationship. If feelings fade over time, you do not need to continue lying to a woman, it is easier to let the person go and start living a new life.

What if a man is lying?

The constant lying of a partner is a difficult case that requires a solution if he is dear to a woman. Correcting the husband's behavior can be delayed for a long period, but if the partners decide to improve the relationship mutually, then the situation is solvable.

The first thing to do is to start talking heart to heart. In most cases, normal, open conversation will forestall an impending conflict. After talking in calm tones with your husband, you can find out the exact reason for the lie and try to solve it. If a man refuses to peacefully resolve the situation, showing indifference, then a positive outcome is unlikely. A woman should think about the relevance of such a relationship in her life.

Often women themselves are to blame for male lies because of constant reproaches and psychological crush. In this case, lying is a defensive reaction. To solve this problem, you need to change the girl's behavior. It is important to observe your partner in order to understand whether he has named the true reason for the pathological lie in the course of changing his own behavior.

You need to observe and pay attention to such moments:

• the husband really stopped lying or became more cunning and resourceful in his actions;
• how his behavior changed after the conversation;
• does the partner take action to change their own behavior or pretend that nothing happened.

These moments are important, as they help to understand whether the situation will change for the better or not. If the reason for lying lies solely in the woman, it is important to control yourself and watch the husband, whether he notices positive changes in the girl's behavior.

It's important to know! In psychiatry, there is a diagnosis - Munchausen syndrome. This is a pathological condition characterized by uncorrectable deceit. When a diagnosis is made, treatment is performed.

Psychology of male lies (video)

Video about why and why men lie to women.

If a man is lying, there is no need to make a scandal right away. It is important to understand the reasons behind your partner's deceitful behavior. The kind of lie also depends on the seriousness of the relationship. If spouses love each other, then most of the latent conflicts that manifest themselves in lies are resolved over time.